This Is The Most Stressful Time of the Week? – No Way!
So I’m reading an article on The Muse website about how Tuesdays between 10:30 and 14:30 are, according to science, the most stressful time of the week.
And I’m thinking to myself, really? Give me a break!
Not a coffee break. I mean a break from this kind of thinking.
If I were to view my work week as this article claims is the norm for most people, I’d definitely be looking to make some major changes in what I'm actually doing with my life.
Yes, I said my life. Because work is a significant part of my life and I’m sure it’s a significant part of your life too.
And here’s the thing.
If you’re viewing your work week through the lens of “you know Mondays are going to be stressful, but Tuesday is when the work starts to pile on (and you’ve still got so far to go until Friday!),” which is a direct quote from the article, then there’s definitely something very wrong with what you’re currently doing for work.
In the words of Gary Vaynerchuk:
"If you live for the weekends and vacations, your "stuff" is broken."
Reading that article on Muse made me immediately think of Gary’s statement. And it got me to thinking.
Has everyone gone mad, or is it just me?
Great question, that!
Maybe I’m the one that’s a little cuckoo. But I don’t think so. You know why?
Because there’re lots of people, just like me, who refuse to work at jobs or careers that they hate.
They decided early on, or later on - it makes no difference - to do something they love doing.
That’s it, plain and simple.
It’s a choice.
Choice is one of the two key elements in my definition of a winner’s mindset. The other is emotional grit.
So why, exactly, do so many people continue to work at things, jobs, careers, where they’re using phrases like “you know Mondays are going to be stressful, but Tuesday is when the work starts to pile on (and you’ve still got so far to go until Friday!)?”
Why would any individual choose to view the work week like that?
And if you’re view of the work week is echoed in that quote above, don’t you think it’s time to start doing something, besides the bandaid fixes the article suggested, to really change what you’re doing with your life?
Why do so many human beings choose to continue doing the same things over and over again, and continue to get the same results over and over again?
Really, why do people make those kinds of choices?
Why we do the things we do
A few years ago, while I was still living and working in China, I received the following email from an individual who had attended a personal effectiveness workshop I conducted. This is the actual email:
Thank you so much for bearing my issue. And I feel very sorry and ashamed that I didn't feedback to you as I committed even though for a couple of times I wanted to write to you ---- The reason was that I couldn't think out anything related to the question you raised to me, i.e. what would I feel exciting to do when every day I open my eyes?
I think it is because I had been worked for 15 years and get inertia. I also asked the same question to quite a wide scale of people, they feel the same as I do: nothing can excite self (except one answered that to check out how his baby-daughter was doing).
For me and for them, job is to earn money to make livings; too many constraints to do something we like (such as fear to take risks, hard to make the first step, too many limitation around, etc.); or too late to start something new (for example, I realised I didn't plan my career path properly but now I am afraid too late to change due to age and experience restrictions, etc.
I am curious on how you made your mind and step to start your own business that something you want to do? How did you get over those negative thinking like we have? Would you mind to share?”
How do you feel when you read what this individual wrote?
For those of you reading this, if this person’s comments and feelings resonate with you, then I am really excited.
Not because I want you to continue feeling the same way that she does.
But if what she said resonates with you, then there’s still hope for you before it’s too late.
And that excites me.
Let’s dissect her email and see what she said was holding her back from making real changes in her life course.
It’s clear that she’s not a happy person. She’s definitely not satisfied with her choice of career.
First: she couldn’t think of anything that would make her feel excited to get up every morning.
WOW! That’s powerful and insightful.
This person has no idea what she’s enthused or passionate about.
Second: She refers to inertia, which is a tendency to do nothing or remain unchanged.
Third: She used the word fear.
And fourth: She said there’s too many constraints or limitations around.
So, for me, that pretty much sums up what holds so many people, most people, back and keeps them stuck in a rut.
No passion, inertia, fear, and constraints or limitations.
By the way, you know what a rut is, right?
A rut is a grave with the ends kicked out.
And if you choose to stay in the rut you’re in, that rut is where you’ll be when you kick the bucket.
So, is that what you really want?
Stop doing what you hate and start doing what you love
First, you’ve got to find what you’re really, really enthused, excited, passionate about.
I know a lot of you reading this are saying: “Oh please spare me all this talk about finding my passion.”
Okay, if that’s really how you feel then there’s no sense reading on, because if there’s nothing that you get up for each morning that excites you - that makes you feel ready to attack the day - and you’re not willing to do what’s needed to figure out what that is, then you have your permission to carry on as you are.
Remember, it’s your choice and no one else’s.
If, on the other hand, you’re ready to end the inertia and start discovering what really gets your blood flowing, then here are a few things you can do.
On a piece of paper, write down the answers to the following questions.
If you didn’t need to sleep, how would you use all of the extra time you’d have?
What did you love doing when you were a kid?
If money or time were no object, what would you be doing with your life right now?
Make a list of the people who are where you would like to be.
Ask 5 of your closest friends to tell you what are your 3 greatest strengths/characteristics.
Do you realise that with this exercise you’ve already killed two birds with one stone?
Yeah! You’ve moved yourself out of your state of inertia by taking action to identify your passion.
Let’s conquer that fear thing, cause….
It’s all in your head.
So, what exactly are you afraid of? Write it down and then send me an email and share it with me.
If you take action to change your situation, what is the worst thing that could possibly happen?
Project yourself ten or twenty or thirty years into the future and then write a detailed description of how you’ll explain to your grandchildren why you never chose to change your situation, and instead spent your entire working life doing something you really didn’t like - even hated - doing.
And all because you were afraid to choose change.
And at that time, what advice would you be giving to your grandchildren?
Would you advise them to do as you did?
Would you want your grandchildren to go through at least a third of their lives doing something that brought them no satisfaction and self-fulfilment?
By the way, if you’re answer to those questions is yes, then you don’t deserve to be a grandparent, even if you’re not one at the moment.
So, does this mean it’s wrong to be afraid?
Fear is a normal human emotion and it can be healthy, when we control it and use it to our advantage.
But fear becomes a problem when we allow it to control us to the point that we no longer want to make the choices or the decisions that will bring us a BETTER and MORE SATISFYING life.
"There no reason in 2014, to do "stuff" you hate. NONE." Gary Vaynerchuk
“There’s no reason in 2014, to do s_ _t you hate. NONE.” – Gary Vaynerchuk
Who’s really constraining or limiting you?
I mean, let’s get real people!
To say there are too many constraints or limitations is a complete cop out.
Has someone tied you up and locked you in a room?
Think about that excuse and then think about Nick Vujicic. He was born without any arms or legs.
Just close your eyes for a moment and try to imagine what it would be like to grow up with NO ARMS and NO LEGS!
And you know what Nick does?
He travels all over the world giving inspirational speeches to help people improve their lives and appreciate what they’ve got to be grateful for.
And I’m purposely not putting a link in this article to his website.
Because you can Google him.
And if you’re not interested enough in seeing how a young man with no arms or legs uses his life to inspire others to Google him, that’s okay.
You have your permission to go on living your life exactly as you’re living it now.
Remember, it’s your choice and no one else’s.
But the only constraints and limitations are the ones that you choose to put on yourself.
No one can constrain or limit you from taking positive actions to pursue something that you really love and want to do.
The constraints and limitations are all in your mind. And you can change your mind if you really want to.
It’s up to you.
"Stop Whining, start hustling." Gary Vaynerchuk
“Stop whining, start hustling.” – Gary Vaynerchuk
What are you going to do?